Archive for June, 2009

For the King.

Saturday, June 27th, 2009

You may want to know what I was doing when I heard about the death of Michael Jackson….I was selling a custom road bike. Could have been worse. I’ve never cared about the controversy with an individual…Michael Jackson, Lance Armstrong, Gallagher…….Its all about the talent. If this song doesn’t make you dance in your chair, there is something wrong with you.

Jesus fucking christ, I had to watch that 3 times….and if I didn’t have to finish this blog, I’d watch it again.
In the same ballpark of talent….but perhaps in the nosebleed seats, is Glenn Danzig, who turned 666 years old last week. Happy birthday buddy.

Many people joke about bicycling and horseback riding. And I don’t really find the same humor that they do. Both are fun activities, and both have their ups and downs. What I do think is funny is that horse people and bicycle people are EXACTLY the same. Gear heads, love/hate their rides, have excuses why they don’t ride everyday….

Alright, go out and ride today. Its freakin’ beautiful….and don’t drink so much that you piss in your pants…

Wait, watch this….and judge not.

What can you do?

Sunday, June 21st, 2009

Well, happy Solstice everybody! As you can tell if I’m writing this at 8am that I am not out on the trail. Its true. Man is it wet outside. Bummer. On the bright side, all the new seed we put down on the lawn is sprouting. Isn’t that nice. Mushrooms are growing in Kims flower beds…Isn’t that weird.
For those of you wondering if there will be a Dharma Wheels Ride at 10:15…there will not….the trails are soaked. I’d recommend on working on tricks like this.

or this.

or if you have access to a small magnet, a cermaic crucible and liquid nitrogen…this is fun….I’ll have to grab my wedding band out of my currier bag.

Lacking liquid nitrogen…at the house, I’ll work at bar tricks at the No Name…

Hopefully they play some Quiet Riot…

I’m so happy. Its going to rain today.

Saturday, June 20th, 2009

Thanks to our fit man Tim, who informed me that Missy Giove was busted with 400lbs of dope. Thats going to leave a mark. Read about it here.
That will most likely end up with a federal prison sentence. They probably don’t have a downhill course in the pen.
More rain today. I don’t care, I’ve got a buddy in town and really, that’s all that really matters. I’m sure we’ll get out for an hour of power.
You should too.
Or maybe you want to blackout…like Boonen.
But don’t do this.
Do this.

ANd don’t forget, the solstice ride is tomorrow…at 4:45 am…white pine touring.


Friday, June 19th, 2009

Just when I am at the bottom of my fatalistic view on life, awesome people show up at the office and the shop and make it all better….and Steve send me shit like this.
This is a clothing store in LA, and a bunch of people who met – god knows how – and all decided to re-enact the hammer dance for no good reason. I’m so glad that people out there do this shit. It really gives me hope for humanity.

Man, they are really getting into it. Thats an A+ performance. And I’ve got a fine arts background bitches.
Here is some funny shit that Joe sent me…

Ha, thats funny.
For those friends of mine who may need a little lift in a world where outside substances no longer are an option, stay the course brothers and sisters, our dark lord is watching.

And if you get bored, you can always knit a wang.

Chainsaws rule.

Wednesday, June 17th, 2009

Yes, it was finally dry enough monday morning to go up and cut some deadfall on the trails. And it was fun.
Got the shops B.O.B all set up to haul the chainsaw up….and some lumber down.
And here’s how it ends…

As your doctor, I don’t believe this…although I wish it was true. I”m sure in their serving size, they used Utah strength beer…in the 100ml euro – size.
Speaking of eurosize…or rather US size, look at this….

And more good news for the us.

SSUK film.

and this xtracycle rules…

alright, on to

You need to see this.

Tuesday, June 16th, 2009

I love these people. Find out why here.

Thanks to Jonny (not me) for answering the lifelong question that many a parent asks…
How can I tell if my son is Gay? Here.

Thats funny.

and you couldn’t forget this…

anc don’t forget this…

Ah, I’m dying, Beserker…….Ah, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

“thats beautiful man.”

DV in the books…..I think. Rain, etc.

Sunday, June 14th, 2009

I must admit, I am just a little sad that the Red Wings didn’t win the cup. As much as I try to stay in some sort of contact with sports, it just doesn’t rise to the surface – I’d rather do cycling stuff. People tease me all the time that I don’t know the full line up of the Michigan football team or the schedule. The last thing I heard about Michigan football was that Utah beat them last year….because it was on the news here…What can you do? I do know that the lacrosse team were big 10 champs again this year…but thats because I get the alumni newsletter emailed….and even those sometimes get deleted because I don’t have time to read them. So, this one’s for you Douch, Phittsburgh Phorever [sic], go pens. And just let me remind you in a juvenile way that even though Detroit lost, I”m still smarter than you because I went to Michigan and know what [sic] means.

Let me give props to our team rider Brad P, who cleaned house on Saturday at Deer Valley….

Brad’s lookin’ good…almost as good as fellow Dharma Wheels racer and manager of Team High Maintenance Amy H. Nice wheelset.

Thats pretty rad…so is this..from Rob

And lastly, my mother has been bugging me about the length of my hair….even though I’m 34 fucking years old….wait until she sees the outfit I have paired up for it…

Wait, I have to put this up too. THanks Stevil for this one. As I ponder if I’ll be able to get my Hedwig costume going for SS Worlds, an alternate costume, a member of stryper comes to mind. Lots of ribons, lace, and hairspray.

Go ride your bike….before it rains…again.

Angry Early, more rain, maybe sawing, busy.

Saturday, June 13th, 2009

Spent the first waking hour this morning staring at this computer screen waiting for some software update to install itself. Hope its not a virus. Oh well, at least its saturday and I had the time. I have a tremendous track record of having computer slowdowns when I have the simplest task to do, so it ends up taking 10 times longer than usual to make it happen.
Wow is it wet outside. And by wet, I mean Utah wet. The Knolly crew would say “It’s great out, eh?”. I am soft, pampered, and long for the desert.
Here is a superquick history of Bontrager….you’ll like it.
Thinking about Leadville. Here are the past winners…
Year Name, State Time
1994 John Stamstad, Ohio, Ohio 7:52:53
1995 Russell Worley, California, California 7:27:55
1996 Mike Volk, Colorado, Colorado 7:22:02
1997 Mike Volk (2), Colorado, Colorado 7:05:45
1998 Richard Feldman, Idaho, Idaho 7:40:02
1999 Richard Feldman (2), Idaho, Idaho 7:10:33
2000 Kevin Willson, Colorado, Colorado 7:31:09
2001 Bryson Perry, Utah, Utah 7:30:01
2002 Bryson Perry (2), Utah, Utah 7:32:27
2003 Dave Wiens, Colorado, Colorado 7:07:44
2004 Dave Wiens (2), Colorado, Colorado 7:05:51
2005 David Wiens (3), Colorado, Colorado 7:17:47
2006 David Wiens (4), Colorado, Colorado 7:13:14
2007 David Wiens (5), Colorado, Colorado 6:58:46
2008 David Wiens (6), Colorado, Colorado 6:45:45*

The only thing more rad might be my favorite Z Boy, Jay Adams…shown here tearing up Del Mar when he was about 12.

My favorite move in the world is that one footed cut 3/4 of the way through the clip. It makes my jaw drop.
What also makes my jaw drop is this.

Cycling saved the day…again.

Thursday, June 11th, 2009

Just when I’m about to go postal….Bicycling comes in and makes everything okay…

Big thanks to ChrisP, he’s the owner of Endurance Cycle Service ( We sometimes work out, but for the last 2 months, its been so busy at the office and the shop, there’s not been a snowballz chance in hell. So today I show up…and suggest instead of a workout, we sit in the steam room. Oh man, like darth vader emerging from the rejuvenation chamber, I was fit as a fucking fiddle, back to my smart ass self and feeling like $1,000,000.00.

And thats good because this is the shittiest stretch of weather I’ve ever seen in Park City.
Thunderbolts on the forecast all week? What the fuck? Rode to the office today. Got my 40′s on my fendered On One. Yes, dear friends, I actually had one of my own bikes in the stand today. Actually, I had three of my bikes in the stand today….for a grand total of 13 minutes. A new fucking world record. Changed the oil in my Totem (3 minutes), changed the rotor (to a skull and crossbones 203) on the Xtracycle (6 minutes), And changed the tires on the ON ONe single speed cross bike..and changed the freewheel (4 minutes). Changed out the 35C studded ice tires for some super plush 40C Ritcheys…MMMMMMMMMMMMM. Then I rode that bitch straight to the liquor store for some full sail porter.

Fuck the Sugarhouse Crit.

Tuesday, June 9th, 2009

Yeah, I’ve rocked the symphony of victory there, but fuck the sugarhouse crit….read on…
in: Cycling on May 24th, 2009 at 01:53:46 UTC | ShareThis

Three riders got DQed in the Pro/1/2 race at the Sugarhouse Criterium today. Why? Because the Husla was standing on the side of the course handing out dollar bills to anyone who could grab them as they rode by.

The rule under which they were DQed is 3D6. “Feeding is not allowed unless specifically authorized by the Chief Referee.” Fox wasn’t feeding; he was giving away a crowd prime. The rule does not specifically say “no hand-ups” …
This is the only thing that can help right now…

Yes, I understand the safety concerns.

Yes, I understand that the hand-ups were probably not the smartest thing for Fox to do, nor was it the smartest thing for riders to go after them.

However, as a licensed USCF official (albeit a Cat C official), my interpretation of the rulebook is that there is no specific rule against grabbing a spectator prime. As such, I think the riders involved would have been better served with a warning rather than disqualification … or at most, relegation, and had I been one of the officials working the race today, I would have argued that point with the Chief Ref.

So … in any case, I think the riders who were DQed today got screwed.