Archive for July, 2009

Happy Sunday….Here is my pic for the 2010 Sundance Opener

Sunday, July 26th, 2009

Hope you are all out there riding today….let me give you this for motivation.
I agree that Lemmy/Motorhead should be in the R and R hall of fame

….I haven’t been this excited to see a movie since coffee and cigarettes.

Yes, I have been slacking on the blog

Friday, July 24th, 2009

Its true that I have been slacking on the blog. But the office has been busy, shop is busy, trying to train for leadville, the tour is on.
Going to get in 70 miles today…
I’ll be looking for something like this in the road.

There will also be thoughts of where to eat lunch

Team kit design for 2010 will be thought of…

And Finalized….jesus christ Steve…did you know that your unicorn is spewing forth a rainbow…thats fucking awesome!

On that note, I’m going riding.

Long Rides and Days Off

Sunday, July 19th, 2009

First, let me start with Red Fang…

Getting ready for Leadville….so longer rides…and full days off from riding….which is different than my riding of the past 5 years which has been, riding anything, any day, any and all time that was available…Dh if possible
Longer rides rule…I’ve been forcing myself to schedule less stuff at the shop, just cut loose and go…been putting music on the mp3 player and rockin. Really its been nice. Days off have been super fun because there is actually time to do stuff like think about a SSWC costume, mow the lawn, change a tire on my own bike….shit, Kim and I even watched a movie Friday night.
Longer rides also free the mind with new terrain and new places which is great. Here is the adventure from last Suday’s Wolf Creek Pass ride. I haven’t been up WCP in years. Its about a 70 mile ride.
So last sunday it was a struggle to get out the door by 1pm…And when you are in a hurry, you forget things. I forgot adequate food. 2 water bottles, 1 heed bottle and 1 cliff bar. Not enough…at least I had plenty of music on the MP3 player….will that help?
So I get to the top of the pass. Its nice, cool and there are cool people. These two campers see me wondering around looking for the water spigot.
“Want a cold water?” one asks.
“Sure buddy!” I say
(Trying to sound knowledgeable) “I’ve got a Coke if you’d like one but you probably don’t want the bubbles.”
“Bubbles, Dude, I’d take a beer if you have it”
Our kind journeyman says without missing a breath “Miller Lite?”
“I’ll take two if you’ve got em”
Funny, I haven’t had a soda pop in a long time. Jesus, there is a lot of sugar in Coke. I see why they still use it in Europe as energy fuel. The beer worked too….and no bonky bonky on the way home.
Wed, pumped out 95 and 7000 feet of climbing going to the top of the Mirror Lake Hwy and back.. Man, what a nice ride.
This is a nice ride too…

Keep it real out there. Hope you are looking like my man Scott here…with the cycling tan….who in this picture looks a lot like Matt M.

Getting behind the Mule.

Wednesday, July 15th, 2009

Yippie…..its wednesday… know what that means….cram a bunch of shit into a day that I can actually get stuff done without having to tell 5 people that their tooth that is broken off at their gumline is not savable no matter what.
9 cups of coffee, up at 4am, made a surgery table for the office…stained it…did the ad for SSWC’s, wrote this….going in at 8 for two custom bikes then riding 70 miles up to the top of the Mirror Lake HWY. Then I may take a nap.
Thanks To Ryan, who sent me this…
A few things from the bike shop.
Date: 2009-05-27, 4:05PM PDT

Whoo-hoo Seattle, the sun is out! Let’s discuss a few things before you fumble with swapping the unused ski rack for the unused bike rack on the Subaru.

So yes, you’ve noticed the sun is out, and hey!- maybe it would be cool to to some bike riding. Let’s keep in mind that the sun came out of all 600,000 of us, so for the most part, you’re not the only one who noticed. Please remember that when you walk into my shop on a bright, sunny Saturday morning. It will save you from looking like a complete twat that huffs “Why are there so many people here?”

Are we all on the same page now about it being sunny outside? Have we all figured out that we’re not the only clever people that feel sunny days are good for bike riding? Great. I want to kiss all of you on your forehead for sharing this moment with me. Put your vitamin D starved fingers in mine, and we’ll move on together to some pointers that will make life easier.


- I don’t know what size of bike you need. The only thing that I can tell over the phone is that you sound fat. I don’t care how tall you are. I don’t care how long your inseam is. Don’t complain to me that you don’t want to come ALL THE WAY down to the bike shop to get fitted for a bike. I have two hundred bikes in my inventory. I will find one that fits you. Whether you come from the north or the south, my shop is downhill. Pretend you’re going to smell a fart, ball up, and roll your fat ass down here.

- Don’t get high and call me. Write it down, call me later. When I have four phone lines ringing, and a herdlet
of people waiting for help, I can’t deal with you sitting there “uuuuhhh”-ing and “uuummm”-ing while your brain tries to put together some cheeto-xbox-fixie conundrum. We didn’t get disconnected, I left you on hold to figure your shit out.

-I really do need to see your bike to know what is wrong with it. You’ve already figured out that when you car makes a noise, the mechanic needs to see it. When your TV goes blank, a technician needs to see it. I can tell you, if there is one thing I’ve learned from you fucking squirrels, it’s that “doesn’t shift right” means your bike could need a slight cable adjustment, or you might just need to stop backing into it with the Subaru. Bring it in, I’ll let you know for sure.

- No, I don’t know how much a good bike costs. For some, spending $500 dollars is a kingly sum. For others, $500 won’t buy you one good wheel. You really need to have an idea of what you want, because every one of you raccoons “doesn’t want to spend too much”.


- Just because you think is should exist, doesn’t mean that it does. I know that to you, a 14 inch quill stem makes perfect sense, but what makes more sense is buying a bike that fits you, not trying to make your mountain bike that was too small for you to begin with into a comfort bike.

- If some twat on some message board somewhere says that you can use the lockring from your bottom bracket as a lockring for a fixie conversion doesn’t mean that A: you can, or B: you should. Please listen to me on this stuff, I really do have your best interests at heart.

- I love that you have the enthusiasm to build yourself a recumbent in the off season. That does not mean however, that I share your enthusiasm; ergo I won’t do the “final tweaks” for you. You figure out why that Sram shifter and that Shimano rear derailleur don’t work together. While we’re at it, you recumbent people scare me a little. Don’t bring that lumbering fucking thing anywhere near me.


-If you shitheads had any money, you wouldn’t NEED a vintage Poo-zhow to get laid. Go have an ironic mustache growing contest in front of American Apparel, so that I can continue selling $300 bikes to fatties, which is what keeps the lights on.

- Being made in the 80′s may make something cool, but that doesn’t automatically make something good. The reason that no one has ridden that “vintage” Murray is because it’s shit. It was shit in the 80′s, a trend it carried proudly through the 90′s, and rallied with into the ’00′s. What I mean to say is, no, I can’t make it work better. It’s still shit, even with more air in the tires.


Good for you! Biking is awesome. It’s easy, it’s fun, it’s good for you. I want you to bike, I really do. To that end, I am here to help you.

-Your co-worker that’s “really into biking” knows fuck all. Stop asking for his advice. He could care less about you having the right bike. He wants to validate his bike purchase(s) through you. He also wants to sleep with you, and wear matching bike shorts with you.

- You’re not a triathlete. You’re not. If you were, you wouldn’t be here, and we both know it.

- You’re not a racer. If you were, I’d know you already, and you wouldn’t be here, and we both know it.

- So you want a bike that you can ride to work, goes really fast, is good for that triathlon you’re doing this summer (snicker), is good on trails and mud, and costs less than $300. Yeah. Listen, I want a car that can go 200 miles an hour, tow a boat, has room for five adults, is easy to parallel park but can carry plywood, gets 60mpg, and only costs $3,000. I also want a unicorn to blow me. What are we even talking about here? Oh yeah. Listen, bikes can be fast, light, cheap and comfortable. Pick two, and we’re all good.


Your kids are amazing. Sure are. No one else has kids as smart, able, funny or as good looking as you. Nope. Never see THAT around here.

- I have no idea how long you kid will be able to use this bike. As it seems to me, your precious is a little retarded, and can’t even use the damn thing now. More likely, your budding genius is going to leave the bike in the driveway where you will Subaru the bike to death LONG before the nose picker outgrows the bike.

- Stop being so jumpy. I am not a molester. You people REALLY watch too much TV. When I hold the back of the bike while your kid is on it, it’s not because I get a thrill from *almost* having my hand on kid butt, it’s because kids are unpredictable, and generally take off whenever possible, usually not in the direction you think they might go. Listen, if I were going to do anything bad to your kids, I’d feed them to sharks, because sharks are FUCKING AWESOME.

I hope this helps, and have fun this summer riding your kick-ass bike!

Thanks Ryan….I can recall many of those situations from older shop days. At the custom shop, I just tell you how it is…and if you don’t like it…you can go fuck yourself.
check this out

Oh Boy, its Princess Di Trail Day!

Saturday, July 11th, 2009

Oh boy. I’m excited. Its princess di trail day today. Brewing up coffee, putting metallica on the mp3 player…its how the world should be.

Trying to keep the eye on the Leadville prize. A little over 4 weeks till D day. Survived a single speed ride yesterday on the Flying Dog….it was great. Actually starting to feel a wee bit of fitness. I’m going to need a lot more if I’m going to make the 9 hr belt buckle time.
Big props to the team that represented in the Firecracker 50 in Brek over the 4th. Evil D sent me these pics.
Evil D with the GT girls

evil D at the start line

evil D drinking on the course

Evil D making friends. Is that a slimmed down Sov?

And finally, Evil D drinking after the race….and by the way, nice job with the Drunkcyclist hat. Big Jonny would be proud.

Wow, thats fun…almost as much fun as this…

Alright, ride and smile…and get loaded.

Have a happy 4th…

Friday, July 3rd, 2009

Tom Boonen will be there on the 4th. I’m ready and excited. Team vehicles are in Monaco….they are ready and excited. Watch some cycling this weekend…after your ride your bike.
As usual, I’ve got great photos of bicycles and drinking… is a beautiful xtracycle with a trailer.

Thanks to Steve, who’s only comment was that “having a child really hasn’t changed my lifestyle….much”

Then there’s Packy (aka captain simian)….whos lifestyle cannot be changed by a thousand hits of acid.

Evil was present in this photo…as it always is

And speaking of team evil, we have a rule, if you slip and fall in the mud, just drink a beer lying down…it’s not hard…see?

Wasn’t that exciting? Here’ my design for the new chuck taylors….

Alright, thats all for now.